My Employment History:
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
but I got canned...... I just couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried to be a Tailor,
but I just wasn't suited for it -mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.
Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a Musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.
I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance
Company, but the work was just too draining.
finally got a job as a Historian
- until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Tim Horton's,
but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
Finally, I opted for RETIREMENT,
AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!